Okay, I think I'm "Self-Sabotaging" my love life! I'm expected to be let down, so I end up letting others down first! Why am I doing this? I guess I'm thinking "if something is too good to be true", it probably is? Once I come to this conclusion, I immediately SHUT DOWN and push myself away as well as push others away from me. I don't mean to do this, but it only stems from the fear that lies inside of me. The fear that I will once again open my heart up to someone so they can just come in and trample on it. My heart has finally mended for like the gazillionth time and like the picture above, that's pretty much how it should be looking right about now.
The weird part about all this is that physically, I have no problem opening up -- to a point! Then when it gets really personal and intimate, that's when feelings want to come into play and I automatically shut off and become a bit standoffish towards others? Go analyze that! I surely have! I'm pretty much scared to open up EMOTIONALLY towards another, but this is common isn't it? Physically, I'm okay though...does that make me a whore???!!! LOL NO WAY! I'm a GOOD GIRL! In a NAUGHTY CITY of course! :-P Now, how do I fix this problem and prevent from hurting others feelings or pushing them away....?!!
I've done a little research on "Self-Sabotaging" in relationships and these are some things I've come across:
I'm wearing a SERIOUS Suit of Armour...according to one article I read, I would be appear to be the type that has this suit of armour. With each disappointment I've come across, I add a little more to my hard shell making it harder for someone to get close to me. It says if I try and avoid the pain that realistically can come with "looking for love" (by closing myself off or hurting the object of my "potential affections) before the relationship even gets started, then I may also be avoiding possible joy! HA! STORY OF MY LIFE!
So, where do I go from here? What advice can you give me???
“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.” - Carrie Bradshaw
ReplyDeleteSmart lady that Carrie! - Find a way to enjoy the good and let go of the past.
xoxo!
you have got to kiss a hell of a lot of frogs before you find a prince and well theres no easy way im afraid. Dont get so weighed down by it all, chill have a great time with guys then slowly one will creap into your heart and before you know it you will be married with 9 kids!
ReplyDeletesecond thoughts push them away run..be free xxxxx
lisa
http://2009housewife.blogspot.com/
check out my blog and become a follower (see what happens wen u find that prince)
Wow can totally relate to what you're saying, and there is no easy way! I've been in so many relationships through out my life, only to find myself competing with someone or something! So as natural instincts would have it, up goes your guard! It's painful as hell when think it's all gravy, only to find out you've been served up a dish of bullshit! Don't ever let ur' guards down, if it don't feel right it probally isn't! Live and experience life, love yourself, know yourself, and you decide when you want to permanatley give yourself up in everyway, don't ever settle, you'll know when it's right! Meagan Star @
ReplyDeletedene-lifeshappenings@blogspot.com
All things of value take time. I can relate completely to this post! You're taking what should be a Journey and turning it into a rainy day; however, there should be, naturally, a bit of reserve, [in first, second, and third]...
ReplyDelete...Maybe, a "half-shell, kinda transparent," would be best. [If he's opening up like a flower in need of water, just smile and say,
"I understand,".] Remember, your life story is yours. As in love, emotion is fickle.
You know your comfort level. If you are uncomfortable that will set you up for another round of narrowing your circle,
and projecting a shell.
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I've been reading your blog (in Google Reader), and I hope you'll keep writing as well as you do. I enjoy your blog.
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"favorite"
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`x~William.
I self sabotage - during pmt week i could be committed to an asylum how the bf puts up with me i dont know
ReplyDelete